Published on 06/17/10

Nip school bullying in the bud

By Brad Haire

Everyone gets bullied at some point in life, and it will most likely happen at school. If your child is being bullied, you can do some things to help stop it.

Bullying can come in many forms, including physical or emotional abuse, damage to a child's property, spreading malicious rumors or forcing a child to do something he or she doesn't want to do, said Sharon Gibson, a University of Georgia Cooperative Extension family and consumer science educator.

A consistently bullied student can have emotional problems and perform poorly in school. And if the bullying is physical, it can take its toll on the student's body.

Don't ignore the problem. And don't tell your child to ignore the bully.

"When a child is bullied, he or she may feel angry, helpless or deserted," Gibson said. "If that child tells a teacher or parent about the bullying, he or she needs to know it's not tattling and that speaking about it was the right thing."

Calm down

Parents can become angry when they first learn their child is being bullied. "Parents should stay calm and first find out if their child is in any immediate physical danger," she said.

The most important thing to do is find a way to stop the bullying. Ask for a meeting with the principal of your child's school. The principal can then determine if and when to bring the child's teacher or teachers into the conversation.

"Again, parents should stay calm. If they're not, this could set up a defensive action by school officials," she said. "Parents should be proactive, but not demanding before they learn more about the situation at school."

Teachers and principals are trained to deal with issues like bullying, she said. So voice your concerns, but listen, too. Most schools have an action plan to deal with bully situations. If the school doesn't, offer to help develop a plan.

The child doing the bullying should be given a chance to reform. The child who is being bullied should have an adult contact at school to tell if the bullying doesn't stop. This person could be the teacher or a paraprofessional.

Help teachers help

A lot is going on in the average classroom, Gibson said. Teachers or paraprofessionals can have their hands full all day. It can be tough to concentrate on one child.

Gibson recommends setting up a code word for the bullied child to use when he or she feels uncomfortable or in danger due to bullying. This will inform the adult without the child having to raise a hand or bring much attention. The adult can then investigate or even witness the bullying.

Follow up with the school to make sure steps are in place to keep your child from being bullied.

Parents can also:

  • Make sure the school has good monitoring.
  • Keep records of bullying episodes and of any communication with the school.
  • Work with other parents in the neighborhood to make sure children are supervised.

At home, encourage good social skills and behavior. Help your child find his or her talents, and praise accomplishments.

"A confident, assertive child is less likely to be the target of a bully," Gibson said.

Brad Haire is the former news editor with the University of Georgia College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences.

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